The Fam-i-ly Car

I remember we had a number of family cars mostly handed down to us from Grandad Graceville the first one, I recall, was a white De luxe Prefect – a small compact car ....with removable roof racks! Seat belts weren’t invented yet, so our large family of six piled into the small family car this usually ended in a number of arguments in the back seat where we four kids were packed in a sort of one forward one back affair the best positions being the window although occasionally Bill or I somehow ended up in the middle, then we would act excited so that the younger ones usually Melissa would think she was missing out & would agree to swap that was a good tactic..... sorry Lissa ...As we got older & bigger we worked out to fit us all in we shouldn’t open both back doors so we had to get in on one side with Mum or Dad slamming the door shut when we were all in, Mum or Dad really should have learnt to pay attention to this manoeuvre because when they became distracted (while still chatting & saying goodbye to whoever we’d been visiting )they would slam the door shut & invariably got someone’s fingers - & without fail they never slammed them once it was always a few times before they realised the reason the door wasn’t staying shut was because someone’s fingers were jammed in it, to add insult to injury we would always get in trouble for that as well because we didn’t say anything ...when in fact the pain was so bad you could only do the silent scream whilst trying to get enough air in your lungs to let out the really loud scream which would end in wracking sobs for the entire trip home, accompanied by chorus of “will you be quiet !”(Shut up was considered a swear word in our house)& "it wasn’t that bad!" "Stop whinging" or "it’s your own fault"....sympathetic lot we were.... it was usually Andrea who was in last so it was usually her fingers , I shouldn’t be surprised if she ends up with arthritis in her fingers when she’s old & decrepit.Although I myself had a particularly nasty experience somehow Dad managed to slam my foot in the car door & he just kept slamming it with all his 6ft force when I finally got a word out & he just said "What the B’ein Hell are you doing with your foot there? Is it broken? & why didn’t I say something instead of just sitting there? But he did take me to the doctor - on a Saturday even.

A few years later we inhereited another family car, also handed down by Grandad this was a two toned green Morris Major another small family car or did we just get bigger? There were five kids by then but Dani got to sit in the baby car seat(that was nothing like they are today it was a canvas affair that hooked over the front seat) lucky her - she wasn’t squished in the back with the rest of us, but I dare say we included her in the usual after school ,back seat melee by copping the odd bash in the back of her head with someone’s elbow or school bag & to make it worse Mum in her magnanimous way somehow offered take 2 neighbourhood boys , Andrew & Craig home from school as well - I mean what was that?? did there look like there was room in the back seat ?? , anyway they were boys & they smelt like boys & then Mum invariably got out & had a chat with Craig’s Mum when she dropped him off & we had to stay in the car she’d only be a minute.......I reckon Mum had a problem with time .so she chatted & we sat there hot ,sweaty, hungry ...elbowing each other calling each other really horrible things like” you stupid fat pig” or “you big fat pig “or “skinny pig” .......

This car was always forever losing bits, i dont know how many times the muffler fell off in front of Oxley high school ...at the bus stop.....how embarrassing!!! & Bill had to get out & pick it up & put it somewhere ...in the boot?? Surely it wasn’t in the back seat?? Was it? I wasn’t looking - I was off in some la la land that didn’t have bombie cars that exhaust pipes fell off of in front of high schools...... well anyway that was Karma for Bill cause he always got to sit in the front seat & being the eldest & only boy – hahaha - oh sorry Bill :)

One time we all piled in to go to school & drop Dad off at the train station on the way – I recall the driveway was on a hill coming out onto a very busy road in the middle of a blind corner that cement trucks frequented ,well anyway off we went, when (as I remember) Dad said rather calmly we have no brakes he may or may not not have said it all that calmly it was just that Mum swore – really ! She said SHHHITTTTTT JOHN!! & at waht felt like a roller coaster speed we screamed out the driveway,which fortunately didn’t have cement truck on its way past ......though I do recall looking & one was close behind us maybe 3 doors down the road ......surprising I think we kids were fairly quite in the back seat maybe we were praying or maybe just amazed that Mum had sworn ........well anyway we got to the bottom of the first hill near the Canossa hospital & Dad somehow managed to slow down enough before the next hill & stopped by pulling the hand brake on – Mum scrambled out with Dani? Andrea? & as the rest of us tried to scramble out as well, but Dad was slready changing gears we werent going anywhere we heard a " Stay where you are its a school day!" Obviously we were more scared of our parents’ wrath then being driven around in a car without brakes.... Mum was yelling at Dad, I might add it was not about our welfare, just about his inept mechanical skills & something about trying to kill her .....oh thats ok then he was only trying to kill Mum not us & if he stopped it must mean he had found the brakes again right ?..... no ... I'd never really noticed how many steep hills were between our house & Oxley station...but there is a few ...... Anycause Dad took off again with the inevitable cement truck appearing close behind us & watched Mum out the back window fading into the distance with whoever the baby at the time stomping off home, did she even look back at those little faces peering out the back window ......I don’t think so..... we turned back to face the front to find ourselves speeding downhill & which eventually ended when we careened around a corner on some flat ground somewhere near the side gate of Oxley High school on top of a hill, Dad stopped by reefing on the handbrake with such force we sat there in silence, the car rocking back & forth for a bit, Dad jumped out (we also took this as our cue to get out) Dad said "I’ll be late for my train youse mob ‘ll have to find you own way to school ... & get yourselves home" & he took off ... we stood there for a bit trying to get our bearings it wasn’t a street we were overly familiar with...but soon figured we’d head off in the direction Dad took & go from there , it’s a bit of a hike from the train station to school & we had to pass the haunted house with the bandaged wrapped mummy in the side window & the old guy that threw poison mud at kids as they walked past (we had this on good authority) but maybe we were probably just glad to be alive, it stopped us bickering for a bit anyway ,well until that afternoon when we had to walk home, that always started us off I think it was the thought of all those hills we came down in the morning we had to walk up in the afternoon & we were hot & tired & hungry & probably missing the good shows on tv you know Skippy, Advenure Island ,Batman, The Flintstones, The Jetsons .........

The were good times in that car as well like going down the big hill in Sherwood? anyway Dad would get a good run up & go down really, really fast & the last little bumpy bit at the bottom that made your stomach somersault & Mum would say "John I’m going to be sick" & that would be the fun part waiting to see if Mum would actually be sick........ but she never was & I think she actually liked it just as much as we did.......

We’d even go on family holidays in that car, got us all the way up to Tin Can Bay to catch the ferry across to Fraser Island for the Family holiday ....but that’s another story